Welcome to my March Blog - Love was in the air!
I took a short break away from Circles, Coaching and writing over the month of February while I focussed on catching my breath after the busy festive season and getting my daughters settled back into a gentle rhythm at school - hopefully setting the tone for the year to come! It was lovely but I really missed my Circles! So I was very happy to dive back in this month ... and it has been a really magical adventure!
Love was in the air!
The theme which weaved it's way through each of the Circles this month was "self love" ... the reflection being "how do I give myself the same depth of love, respect, gratitude and compassion, that I so easily lavish on those around me?". To start off this train of enquiry we really had to focus in on some of our beliefs about "love". Some of the key questions we asked ourselves were ...
Why is love actually so important?
We all crave love, we all know that it is good for us (when expressed healthily) and we know that we organise our lives around it in so many ways, but actually, why is this so? We tend to take for granted that we 'just know" why love is so important - it feels good to be loved - but why? To be able to love ourselves deeply, it really helps to know what love actually gives us. Why is love the ultimate gift to ones self and to others? This of course was expressed uniquely by each individual in each Circle, however it all led back to the fact that love allows us to heal. Love allows us to transform. Love gives us safety. Love gives us freedom to be exactly who we came here to be.
Why is self love so important?
Building on our awareness around why love is such a gift, we then reflected on why it so important to be able to love ourselves meaningfully. Despite the fact that so many of us find it quite challenging to love ourselves in the same way we love another, this question was decidedly simple to answer ... we will struggle to love another fully, or receive the love of another with grace and ease, when we do not hold a healthy level of love for, and within ourself.
What is the greatest gift of love another person could ever give you?
We then contemplated our perfect "love gift" - how best does someone express their love for you? The depth of passion and emotion this question aroused was really magnificent. The resounding answer to this question was "presence" ... every single person expressed in some way that the greatest gift they could ever receive ... the one thing in the world that would make them feel most loved ... is having someone be deeply present with them. We feel most loved when we are being deeply seen, deeply heard and deeply received for exactly who we are - when we are being held gently in a deep container of safety from which we can express our deepest thoughts, desires, needs and emotions.
How do you give yourself your greatest "love gift"?
So this was where things got interesting! Having identified that we feel most loved when we are experiencing deep presence with another, we asked whether this was a gift we have ever given to ourselves? To be honest, most of us, weren't really even sure what this would look like! We are often encouraged to "look after ourselves" - by eating healthily, exercising or nourishing ourselves with a massage or spending time with friends. These are all highly valuable activities, but maybe we have overlooked simply sitting with ourself and being deeply present to our deepest, most fragile emotions, needs and desires? We reflected on the way we mentor, support and nurture our partners, children and close friends through times of distress or confusion and contemplated why we aren't programmed to give the same gentleness to ourselves.
Let's give it a try ...
If the greatest act of love we can give is deep presence, it's time for us to develop our skills in being present to ourselves. How, you ask? This will look different for everyone, but how about we start by simply placing into our awareness the idea that, when we are feeling distressed in any way - over something huge or something really quite small - we can just pause and recognise that we are feeling something uncomfortable. Take a breath and ask yourself, what would you say to your best friend, your child, or a colleague if they were feeling what you were feeling right now? Then take another breath - and quietly, gently, express that same level of care, support and nurturing that you would give the "other" ... be deeply present with that part of you which is needing a loving hand - she / he just wants to be seen, heard and received without judgment.
Try it and see what happens! This simple act of love is truly transformational!
I would really encourage you to take a moment to reflect on these questions for yourself and slowly grow your awareness around the power of being deeply present to yourself! I would love to hear from you about this exciting journey!
And the last word this month is from Mr Charlie Chaplin! ...
As synchronicity would have it, as I was preparing for my March Circles on "self love", the universe delivered to me an absolute gem of a poem from a very unlikely source ... Mr Charlie Chaplin! Said to have been written on his 70th birthday, Chaplin, penned this amazing reflection on self love ... "As I Began to Love Myself" ...
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing, new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!
_________________
Thank you Mr Chaplin!
May your journey into deep presence with yourself be a truly beautiful one!
With so much love, light and laughter to you all!
Sasha xxxx
